The Perils of Collecting…..
November 22, 2020 in Articles, Machinery
Whatever you are collecting the machine may be out there!
We are possibly all guilty of wasting time looking through classified adverts in the tractor or vintage magazines or browsing online auctions, this is usually done under the guise of âresearch purposesâ even if we sometimes just accidentally end up purchasing the item. The purchase can then be further justified as saving another piece of history and the item joins the ever expanding collection without any sin being committed.
These are my personal thoughts on collecting all things horticultural. Easy and from the comfort of one’s own home, one of the best places to find things is online. But I find online auctions can sometimes be a complete muddle of contradictory statements. For instance a heap of rust for sale doesnât correlate with its dubious glowing description of a machine needing nothing more than a bit of TLC, or the fact that the engine is scattered between several Tupperware boxes doesnât necessarily constitute an âeasy DIY repairâ. Other adverts can bring a smile to the face of the people who know the seller is trying to big up their merchandise like a street trader hustling items from a suitcase, making it sound like itâs a once in a life-time opportunity, which it rarely is. Conversely, some rare or unusual machines have passed under the radar, sadly their sales description letting down the unknowing seller from getting a better price or a potential buyer missing out on finding that desired machine.
My favourite online auction machinery description to justify the potential that a machine is still in working order is: âWas working when last usedâ. Quite frankly, I hope it was working when last used! I often wonder if the rest of the selling statement could be â…but not working nowâ or possibly â…but we cannot get it to start/run/move since itâs been sitting in the shed for thirty yearsâ, which rather puts a damper on the auction.
There’s a huge range of machines out there – but will they run and work as intended once they’ve been brought home?
In this Northern household we take the view that anything with a petrol engine isnât going to run when purchased, accordingly âWas working when last usedâ is taken with a pinch of salt. If it does run then itâs a complete bonus and we celebrate by taking the whippet for a pint downât pub.
Iâve also been dismayed when clicking on a garden tractor advert thatâs still at its 99p starting bid only to find that the seller is actually selling the machine for spares. Acting like Arthur Daley of the mower world the seller cunningly announces one is bidding âfor a wheel nut onlyâ. Iâm always tempted to ask to buy all the wheel nuts, thus hopefully leaving the buyer with a wheel-less and immovable machine in the middle of his garage floor that he can fall over for the foreseeable future.
Having a machine that is moveable is pretty important. It reminds me of a trip one spring to somewhere south of a great metropolis to collect a non-running garden tractor that turned out to also have a couple of flat tyres. Google Street View did a tragically poor job of warning us of the front-garden-cum-municipal-tip-devastation we had to extract the tractor from. We knew we were in trouble when even the owner went out for the day and left us to sort it out for ourselves. A challenge wading through a sea of pizza boxes, beer cans and half a scrap yard, including the ubiquitous car up on bricks and a safe with the door jemmied open, and all at the front of a semi-detached house. Iâm told itâs called character building but Iâd call it unfortunate; yet we did rescue a tractor and that means itâs another guilt-free purchase. Â
The tractor we rescued had one additional label, it was that of an auction. Over the years we have had a few machines that have obviously been bought for tuppence at a local sale and then put online in the hope of bagging a magnificent profit. Iâm all for enterprise and if people can find a bargain then sell it on for a profit then good for them and I wish them every success. Itâs possible that many machines that are now in collectors hands may have been sourced from agricultural sales, house clearances or free-ads before filtering down through online auctions. I wonder how many machines and tools have been saved from the scrap man because they ended up on online auctions, their last chance of rescue before being dismembered or going to the crusher?
Perhaps collecting hand tools would be an easier option?
But this collecting lark is not without perils. If you are into collecting hand tools with no moving parts then you are very sensible and on to a winner, probably spotting all the bargains I blindly overlook. The most problematic that simple hand tools can get is rust, broken welds or woodworm. However, if any collectable has an engine, gearbox or anything of mechanical importance to the machine actually working as intended, then the money can start flowing and all hopes of saving up for that holiday in the Maldives vanishes. Who needs a foreign holiday anyway? Hours wasted whilst sat idly at an airport when instead one could be back at home trying to source no-longer-available parts for a knackered Tecumseh engine!
Of course the machines we collect are getting older and for some the original spares are getting rarer and some aftermarket reproduction parts can be a potential gamble. Sometimes this can mean turning to the lucky dip put forth by the internet and sticking our oily hands into the digital bran barrel of parts that may or may not fit. Iâve found that cross-referencing part numbers between different machines and manufacturers is a skill, itâs almost an art form; Iâm getting good at it.
Once parts have been identified and ordered itâs at this point that doubt could set in, especially if the confirmation email says that the parts arenât located in the UK after all, the website plainly lied. Imagine if Google Street View comes up trumps this time and, with glee, informs the buyer that indeed the heavy crankshaft for the twin cylinder engine isnât coming from a seller in a picturesque Cotswold village, instead itâs coming from a bedsit in a backstreet in China that looks scary even in daylight. Will the purchase turn up? Estimated delivery time: Eventually. Plus the frightening thought of import duty and VAT. But thatâs a story for another day.
….The reason is that Webb make several subliminal references to expense which may not go down too well with the person who controls the purse strings. Webbs advice is to “Go for the best you can afford” and “Webb recommended prices allow your dealer to provide….guidance, instruction, preparation and service requirements” i.e this ain’t gonna be cheap. In the picture on the right we see the Webb mower being invited to afternoon tea and admired by it’s new owners – it’s not just a new mower but a piece of one-upmanship over the entire neighbourhood and their new-fangled Flymos. The Webb is something to aspire to. 
Let us visit some old technology which is now new technology that hasn’t progressed much from the old technology and get ourselves a battery mower to cut down on the use of petrol. The largest 18″ deluxe model which is the left mower in the picture was ÂŁ132.00 in 1973, approx 30% more than the petrol version. The smallest model was a 12″ cut and priced ÂŁ54.95 (prices inc tax).
The next models are the petrol powered stuff, this is where one can be accused of wanting a mower purely because it has an engine. As can be seen in the image the gentleman has been accompanied to the dealership to ensure money isn’t squandered on unnecessary and frivolous purchases, honestly, as if anyone would buy stuff on a whim to hoard in the shed. Besides, there’s a really scary receptionist lurking in the background to keep things in order. 
For utter devilment our gentleman in the dealership image could be forced by his female companion to have a hand-push mower, that’d teach him to look out of the kitchen window and daydream for a petrol powered machine instead of getting on with doing the washing-up at home. The push mower range consisted of the 10″ Whippet, 12″ Wasp and 12″ Witch. Respectively priced at ÂŁ17.54, ÂŁ18.64 and ÂŁ25.24 inc tax. 
Once the lawn is cut then it’s time to do the edges and Webb come to the rescue with a battery-operated lawn edger. This talented machine has a 6 volt battery that can trim for about 45 minutes – about 1200 yards of lawn edges. It has a 7″ blade that revolves at 5000 rpm giving about 10,000 cuts per minute. Apparently it can trim lawn edges better than they have ever been trimmed before – I think some professionally trained groundsman might have disagreed with that statement but they probably agree that it was a lot easier than using long-handled shears. 
